Unattainable
by PainLasts4Ever
Summary: Tokio Hotel Fanfic. A Bill K. story. Fetures the song Deathbed by There For Tomorrow. Bill does something for Tom that Tom needs. How will it end? Bill talks about Tom and what he means. This is a really bad summary. Read to understand. Read and review?
1. Chapter 1

_**I don't own Tokio Hote or the song "Deathbed" by There For Tomorrow.**_

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><p><strong>I'd hate to break it to you now<br>But that reoccurring sound  
>In your ear<br>Makes it perfect  
>Was it clear, my whole purpose?<br>I'm just fine with or without  
>Having this inner selfish doubt<br>I'll fall hard  
>You'll fall harder<br>I'm along  
>You're too startled<strong>

I'm a desperate lover. A desperate lover meaning a person who loves too much, but too little.

My brother. My best friend. The only person I love. My world. My heart.

No, I am not in love with my brother. I simply love him. He is my reason for breathing, for thinking, for caring, for living. He is my whole world. I could not live without him. I will not live without him.

Is it strange that I care for my brother so much? Some-most-people would say yes. Most of those people don't have an identical twin brother, though. They judge without knowing. Those people don't know what we've been through together. They don't know him or me. They never will. No matter what. They will never know.

**Break a sweat, desperate lover  
>Do you feel all alone?<strong>

They will think what they want. They will believe what they want. They will do what they want. I will not stop them from being who they are. I will not correct them anymore. I do not care about them. The only thing I care about is my brother Tom.

I will do anything my brother wants. I will do anything my brother needs.

But what is it that he wants? But what is it that he needs?

I know. It's his only secret, and I know. I know what he desires, though he does not know yet. Will he ever? Yes. Yes, he will. I will make sure he finds out. No matter what.

It will be the hardest thing I will ever do. But I will do it. For my brother.

**I fell asleep on your deathbed  
>In a hole where your head rests<br>I'm facing truth so unfamiliar  
>I just close my eyes and<br>Fall asleep on your deathbed  
>Can we be resurrected?<br>I'm facing truth so unfamiliar  
>I'm your saint, will you be my savior?<strong>

He will be sad at first. I know he will be mad. He may get lost, but he will find his way. He will hate me, but I hope one day he will be able to forgive me.

He will cry tears of endearment. He will cry tears of rage. He will cry tears of bitterness. He will cry a river. He will not drown, he will not be pulled all the way down. He will break free. He will swim to the surface. He will breathe. One day he will cry tears of joy. One day he will see.

He has called me a letdown. He has called me a mistake. He has said I am nothing but a waste. He has called me worthless. He has said I am useless. He has been wrong.

I am not a letdown. I may have been a mistake, but I'm a mistake who has found a purpose. I am not a waste, I have a reason. I am not worthless, I have just not served my purpose, yet. I'm not useless, everything, even me, is used for something.

**I always hoped to bring this down  
>Words exchanging all around<br>You spoke quick, I spoke faster  
>Take your pick, take mine after<br>But the time went ticking  
>And hearts went missing<br>It's not what I waited on**

I have found that something. I have found my purpose. I will fulfill it.

Do you want to know what my purpose is. Do you want to know what my cause is?

You guessed it. Tom. Tom is my purpose. Tom is reason. Tom is my life. I will save Tom. No matter what. Even if he is unattainable.

That's what he is. Unattainable. He is unattainable to everyone. Even me. I will change that soon enough. I will change him. I will change his life. I will change everyone around him.

I will make him tangible. He will no longer be unattainable.

**Break a sweat, desparate lover  
>Do you feel all alone?<strong>

All anyone will need to do is reach. Reach out to him.

It cannot be me. It will not be me.

I am only but one. One out of two. Thant's how it has always been. Just me and Tom.

Until now.

Now it's just me. Alone. By myself. Always watching. Always listening. Always thinking. Always remembering. Now it's time to make my move.

**I fell asleep on your deathbed  
>In a hole where your head rests<br>I'm facing truth so unfamiliar  
>I just close my eyes and<br>Fall asleep on your deathbed  
>Can we be resurrected?<br>I'm facing truth so unfamiliar  
>I'm your saint, will you be my savior?<br>Will you be my savior?**

I will not regret this. I will always remember this. I will always look back. I will always face the front. I will always love Tom.

I will always and forever be one out of two. Even if I am alone. But am I ever truly alone?

No...never. Just now.

I'll wait for Tom. I'll wait forever if I have to. I'll wait because I know. I'll wait for the only person I love. I'll wait for my heart. I'll wait until the time is right. I'll always wait.

It's time for me to let go of Tom.

Soon. Yes, soon. Too soon? No.

**We both agreed that this was best  
>But I can't risk to lose my rest<br>I closed my eyes now you're well on your way  
>I bend and fold at your request<br>Now it's my time to take a step  
>I closed my eyes now you're well on your way<strong>

It should have been done a long time ago. I just realized now, though. It's not too late. At least not yet.

Yes. I'm letting you go now.

I will always love Tom.

I will save Tom.

This is my final stand. After all, I'm a desperate lover.

Tom will no longer be unattainable. He will be tangible.

It's time. Goodbye. This is the reason why. This is my purpose. So, goodbye

Goodbye.

**I fell asleep on your deathbed  
>In a hole where your head rests<br>I'm facing truth so unfamiliar  
>I just close my eyes and<br>Fall asleep on your deathbed  
>Can we be resurrected?<br>I'm facing truth so unfamiliar  
>I'm your saint, will you be my savior?<strong>

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for reading. Tell me what you think be reiviewing. Check out "Deathbed" By: There For Tomorrow. It's a really grat song.<strong>_


	2. IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

**IMPORTANT! **

**Attention, Attention (see what I did there, hint FIR) anyways, this story might get taken down by Fanfictoin! Yeah! Isn't that just peachy?! I've been waiting for this since I first put a story on here! Yeah! Dream come true! Thanks! Okay…I'm done with the sarcasm...for now. Time to get real. Real serious.**

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><p><strong>IMPORTANT! <strong>

**Here's the deal. Someone warned me about one of my stories going against the Fanfiction rules, because they use real people, and I'm guessing they'll be reporting it soon if they already haven't.**

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><p><strong>IMPORTANT!<strong>

**I refuse to change the characters and whatnot to make it right for this sight, so yup, expect the worst. **

**This means, they might be taken down, and I might get banned.**

**=D (note the sarcasm in my typed smile)**

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><p><strong>IMPORTANT! <strong>

**I'm sorry, but I will not be reposting them if they do get taken down. I'm not going to risk having them taken down again. I just don't want to deal with people hounding me about them being against the Fanfiction rules and blah, blah, blah.**

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><p><strong>IMPORTANT!<strong>

**As some of you may have noticed, my community no longer has stories in it. I couldn't figure out how to delete it, so that's what I had to do. **

**Once I figure out how to delete it, it will be DELETED.**

**My forum will also be deleted soon.**

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><p><strong>*****IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! VERY IMPORTANT! SUPER IMPORTANT!**<strong>

**I've sent all you, all the ones that had PM available, a message telling you where you can find this story and all my other stories. If somehow I missed you, or you don't have PM activated, here's the information:**

**I HAVE A WATTPAD. YOU CAN FIND ALL MY STORIES ON THERE.**

**My WATTPAD: DevourTheWatermelon**

**w w .c o m (back slash) user (backslash) DevourTheWatermelon**

**If that doesn't work, go to my profile, and the link should be at the top, just copy and paste it to the URL thingy.**

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><p><strong>IMPORTANT!<strong>

**Also, the first chapter of The Baby is on BVB Fiction.c o m**

**I hope to get more of it on there soon.**

**My BVBFiction: DevourTheWatermelon**

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><p><strong>IMPORTANT!<strong>

**If by chance, my stories don't get taken down, I will NOT UPDATE! Sorry.**

**I will not delete my account. If one day it vanishes, it was probably deleted by FF. **

**If my stories do get taken down, you can still PM me and stuff, unless I get banned or something like that.**

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><p><em><strong>THANK YOU! <strong>_

_**I'd like to thank all you have read/put my stories on your alerts/favorites. You guys and gals made my Fanfiction experience wonderful. You are the ones that made me want to continue writing, and for that I will always be grateful. You are also the ones that kept me on this website for so long, I would've left sooner, but I stayed for you all. **_

_**I'm so sorry and I regret all of this this happening. I should've been sneakier(kidding)…I wish I could stay on here longer, but that's probably not going to happen. I'm almost 189% sure that all my stories will be taken down by FF. You can find me on wattpad, though.**_

_**Again, thank you. I hope to hear from you all again, sometime. **_

_**Bye. **_

_**~Nidia (a.k.a PainLasts4Ever)**_


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